Name: Mike
Web Page Name: Kid Hollywood
Age: 18
Your Own Webpage: You're on it bucko
E-mail: MySiteAteYourMom@hotmail.com

My own personal journey began on a farm in Nigeria. It was a happy life but I longed for something more. Something I knew was waiting for me. Thus I began my trek which took me from the deepest jungles of the amazon to the shallowest jungles of the amazon and then quickly to the deserts of Africa and the deserts of West Dakota. It was there I suggested to the chief of the West Dakota people that they should change their name to "North" Dakota as they're north of South Dakota. So pleased were they with my idea that not only did they offer to sell newly named North Dakota for $24 worth of beads and trinkets, but they offered to make me chief. I quickly realized that there is absolutely nothing worthwhile in North Dakota, but not wanted to anger the natives I told them they should do away with their chief system and try democracy. Traveling merchants have informed me that it's still in place to this day.

Well, North Dakota's problems were solved, unfortunately it didn't help me one bit. I knew there was something out there for me and I heard a voice whispering to me telling me the key lay hidden in the town of "New York"! Little did I know how far astray this would lead me.

"Extra extra read all about it Kid was trampled in a bizarre paper cup burning ritual!" Said the paper hocker weeks after my arrival in New York. Yes, that's right. I used to simply be known as Kid. I had ties in with The Kid from Dick Tracy and Kid from Chrono Cross. I was recently arrived to New York and wandering around when I fell into a den of baby eating goths from South Dakota who promptly recognized me as the man to bring their Northern Rivals power. They summoned their dark overlord, Merv, who beat me senseless. When I came to I found myself covered in footprints and surrounded by burning paper cups. Before I gathered myself I was whisked away by the police and the rest is history. I was ruined. I came to New York to find my dream, and unless my dream was a hell hole, my dream eluded me again.

I was alone and destitute on the streets of New York. I was sleeping in an alley way when it hit me. In the face! Merv was back for another round! But wait! Merv's fists felt more papery this time...why it wasn't Merv at all! Unless he used his powers to become a newspaper! I quickly checked the newspaper for signs of Merv and then I saw it. In big letters. HOLLYWOOD. I knew where my dream was...

However I wasn't as close as I seemed. I had no money, so alas I couldn't get to Hollywood! I knew how I could get my money but I'd have to go back into the world I feared so much. The world that ruined me. The world of gothic baby eating South Dakotians!

I strolled up to the same area knowing in my heart that they would be there. There was no question about it. Then I saw them. They saw me. It was go time.

I kicked all their asses. Come on. They're all from South Dakota. Besides they were nothing but baby fat. Then I heard a noise and looked over. Standing their with the cockiness only possessed by one that has successfully framed another human being of being involved in a paper cup burning ritual that went horribly wrong. Then he spoke.

"Well, Kid, or should I say Kid Hollywood, it seems you bested my South Dakota minions. But you cannot hope to beat me. However now is not our time to battle. I already beat you once. I will wait for you to build up your power and then CRUSH YOU!"

I bet it's times like this Merv wishes he could fly or teleport because that speech sent fear through my heart and I felt like I was doomed, but when I saw him riding away on a little scooter I know I had a chance. I searched through the bodies of the South Dakotians strewn at my feet, they didn't have much money but I sold their baby supply on the black market for a pretty penny. This still wasn't enough to get me to Hollywood but I wasn't about to give up. I packed up my belongings and moved to Boston.

Boston was considerably better then New York, and no one knew of my cup burning past. I was accepted once again. But that wasn't good enough. I was accepted on my farm in Nigeria. I still had to follow my dream and get to Hollywood! I knew I needed money and Boston was fresh out of South Dakota baby eating goths. Despite the absence of SDBEGs I could feel Merv around me in the air. He knew I was here.

Back to the money situation. I knew I had to rely on my wits. I almost applied for a job and then I remembered "JOBS ARE FOR SUX0RZ". Then it hit me. Merv's papery fist! But this fist felt more hardcovered then usual. I realized it was a book. A book on making your own web page! I knew what must be done and done it was. Enjoy the page folks, it's getting me to Hollywood. But watch out...FOR MERV!